RazDaz | Pls don’t litter

It’s another empty week, as you can see that I’m able to post more than usual. I wanted to be more motivated this week so I’ve turned to looking at online courses trying out what I could have missed during the past months. I’m also adjusting my time to workout often to get myself to be fit, because my “schedule” for workout isn’t consistent anymore. Which resulted in me having DOMS (Delayed Onset Muscle Soreness) for 2 days and I swear I never felt this for ages! This just proves how my muscles are not used to the sudden ‘intense’ workout I haven’t done in a long time. I’m only doing this 7 min 1000 step challenge that isn’t that highly intense. Yeah gotta blame myself for not exercising often and properly enough and making myself bear with the soreness. 😂 Not gonna let this happen again.

I’ve watched The Tunnel (Tunnelen) this week which is the first Norwegian movie I watched. It was an accident-disaster kind of film and the whole time it was about them trying to save the people who were trapped inside the tunnel. I feel it was a bit too early for me to watch this because it took place during the Christmas season. 🎄☃️🎅 I think it would be better if the show is aired in December so that we would feel ambience to welcome Christmas through watching this show. haha.

Anyway the accident happened because of a blue plastic bag that flew to the driver Tom’s windscreen which blocked his vision while driving in the tunnel. It was horrifying as he knocked his oil-tank vehicle and stopped, without realising the oil has already leaked to the ground. By the time he discovered this, it was too late and it blew up, costing his life. And it also affected the rest of the people behind him in cars and buses. The air was really bad with black smoke. Even as they called the rescue team we can see how risky and dangerous it is which made the movie enjoyable as a thriller. Quite a lot of lives were lost through this accident and it was really sad to watch. Honestly, I feel that they are telling us that the tunnels in Norway are badly constructed and there is no escape in such a situation like this. I hope they will do something about it though, if that is what the director wishes to convey to their government? I like to see the scenic views of the snow and mountains in Norway and in fact I kinda hope they show a bit more on their culture besides the disaster part. All in all, what I got from this movie is: “Do not litter!” Littering not only results in pollution, it can also cause such an unwanted disaster!! Seriously, owing to this movie, now I hate when see litter lying around. Please don’t litter for the sake of the Earth and people. You won’t know what could happen because of such a an action. → My rating: 7.5/10

Stress management

I wanted to come up with my own schedule and stick to it, but it’s not a surprise that I failed to do the first thing of the day → which is to wake up early at 7 or 8 am in the morning. 😂 It can’t be helped that I’m so weak at waking up early without stress when I’m not a morning person at all. And that’s what I wanna be talking about a bit, which is stress.

I’m not stressed right now since training session is over. I’m glad about it in a sense but on the other hand, I can’t stop myself from thinking what is gonna happen next. It’s so hard not to make myself be serious and stressed out easily, since I have been living like this when I was a teen. I know by now I need to know how to calm myself down and better manage my stress level and not to freak out or worry whenever something pops up, but it’s still a difficulty for me not to care about it. I guess it’s something I need to explore and learn how to deal with it someday. But anyway, I’ve attended a stress management session online by the company and learned what Freeze-Frame is about. This is what we have to do when we feel stressed by applying it for just a minute:

Perhaps the technique is to make us feel calm the moment we feel overwhelmed. Other than that, the other suggested ways to cope with are: to go grab a cup of warm water, take a break (it’s hard not to feel panic when you are in a rush for something and yet you would like to force yourself to have a break so that you won’t go crazy so soon), walk around, reduce the workload (is that possible?), listen to something funny to cheer yourself up, venting to people (whom you trust or rather ask them to give you their perspective for your situation), or sleep.

Honestly I don’t know if the solutions above would be useful, especially when it comes to sleep — I’ll definitely be losing sleep when I’m stressed up as I cannot stop thinking about work and what I plan to do to get the things done faster. To me it’s more like how you are able to calm yourself down and think clearly how to resolve a matter in the best way. Although it seems like it’s gonna take a lot of effort but I hope this post serves as a reminder to me someday that if I do feel the stress, I should breathe in deeply first and foremost. Hopefully, the stress that I feel in the future will motivate me rather than leading to anxiety as what has happened in the past. It could be hard to control but as of now, thank goodness that I am in a relaxed mode so that my body gets to recover. I hope this last long, and that I can still manage my mental health well.

RazDaz | Boring movie but..

It has been rainy for the past weeks and it’s so enjoyable to stay indoors because of such cooling weather. But then I have not been that productive for myself and I’m starting to worry if it seems like I’ve been slacking a little too much. But since I have no control over my work for now so all we can do is simply to play the waiting game. I thought I could start on something serious soon this month but now I think it seems I need to work on coming up with my own ‘ideal’ schedule to be productive. I can’t waste too much time to sleep!

I’ve watched the movie The Secrets We Keep and we chose it because there are simply no appealing ones in the cinema for this month. 😅 The movie is pretty boring as a thriller because it’s just about a woman trying to get a man to confess his wrongdoings on her fifteen years ago. I knew she couldn’t make a mistake in identifying him because as a victim she will never ever forget the person who have caused harmed to her. Trauma can make a person unable to forget that moment and the people no matter how long ago, although it can make a person lose her mind too. But I do believe in her even when the man just keep lying and denying what she said until the very last moment. I’m not that surprised for the ending and how they go on living their lives as if nothing has happened. I guess she and her husband can finally bury the nightmare behind. It’s kinda sad to watch this as a woman to feel what she had gone through. But it gets boring as the story goes. I just think the man should have confessed and apologised for his mistake earlier rather than trying to avoid, which made him a real jerk indeed. I guess there is no right or wrong in dealing with a man like this, especially at that era. On one hand I hope people who watched the film can understand how you should not hurt others and it will come back to you in some way on some day. My rating: 5.5/10

First impression: edX

It’s been a while for me to try out new course platforms and see how good they are. Since I have the mood to explore, I tried out edX this time as they have free courses, but they provide access deadline for their courses unless you pay for it and to also get a Certificate of Achievement. If I’m not wrong, the course start date starts when you click Enroll, and not by when the course actually starts to open for users (which is different from FutureLearn as it depends on when the course opens).

At first I had problem signing in with my Google account. I guess that is the bad thing about trying to link your google account (because I don’t want to sign in to multiple accounts) to other apps/platforms so I turned to using the ‘traditional’ way of login using password. That is just one point to note of. Sometimes security gives such other troubles which as a user you would want to avoid lol.

The good thing about edX is the way they deliver the content through videos and explaining it in easy way. The notes are placed below the video which is easy to read too. What’s more is that there are 2 MCQs below in each section to test your knowledge. I like the way they display their course content like this, but the bad thing I dislike is when they wanna do a demonstration on their screen they did not zoom in to the main part but just showing the entire screen which makes it hard to view. Even though I made the video on full screen I still have a hard time looking at the codes. I think they could have done better in editing it and focus at the areas where we need to view.

They also provide some practice projects to do but to be honest, I wasn’t that interested in doing them. I feel that the things they mentioned in their questions seem tough for beginners. Even though I maybe of a higher level but it didn’t make me feel like trying it out. The discussion section was placed only in each module where you have to find it either at the start or at the end of the module. I think discussion section should be made more accessible easily at the dashboard where there is a page dedicated solely for it, and having sub pages for the different project questions. And no surprise that many people have questions about the projects. IMO I think it’s more suited for those with some knowledge beforehand to start this course. Absolute beginners will definitely have a harder time to figure out what is going on. So take it with a grain of salt when they mentioned the level is for beginners.

My rating: 2.8/5

Watching big eaters

Watching mukbang (eating show) has been a trend for some time which originate in Korea (and hence the korean term). But it was only recently I find it a joy to watch mukbang often to see if I can develop cravings from it, and feel the pleasure in eating food for myself. Honestly I didn’t watch a lot big eaters, but I do think that there isn’t much big eaters that deliver good video content. For Korean mukbangers, they are into ASMR for all their food eating which is a turn-off to me. I don’t like how all of them are doing the same thing. (In case you didn’t know, there was news of them faking their videos where they did not actually eat the food which is definitely cheating the viewers for views and waste of the food) And for other countries, they didn’t make the food look delicious as it seems (ie. they just keep gorging the food that’s all), until….

I saw the famous Japanese big eater Kinoshita Yuka and I know she is the best!

What I like about her is that she will show you how she prepares her food, usually in really huge servings. So she’s not only good in eating but she can cook too! And she sure knows how to decorate and display the food well. While she’s eating she can also describe the flavour and everything in a way to make it soooo tempting to the viewer. Although she does have her preference in adding more toppings/ingredients later on but that was such an enjoyment too! I do think she’s a rare kind of big eaters that regularly post new and good quality videos which give me an insight each time to different kinds of food. I also like how she will finish every scoop of the food and give thanks after her meal. Overall it’s like a good watching experience. I would totally recommend her when it comes to mukbang channel. I have never got disappointed from watching her so far. But be warned! Don’t watch this at night. hahahaa.

RazDaz | Motivated Monday?

I still woke up late as usual, where the alarm clock fails to wake me up early today. I know, so much for me trying to make this week a productive one, but at least I have been doing something right you know. My schedule today is something like:

  • waking up at 9.30am, had breakfast until 10am where I start my day. (The usual timing since April lockdown)
  • watched 2 youtube videos to relax first
  • finished an udemy course I’ve bought last year
  • searched for a new course at edX and currently been studying it since afternoon
  • watched half an anime episode (yes finally I had time & sourced one that interest me)

Oh no, so to speak, what motivation did I have besides studying? 😆 I’m just doing the same thing as before, only difference is that there is no ‘schedule’ for me to follow which would stress me out. 😅

Well I guess I’m just trying to make myself motivated in way by learning and doing something I like once again. I guess my lifestyle during this pandemic has changed the way I am, and here I am wondering if I’m an indoor person. I used to think I am because I can stay home the entire day. But doing this long term is another thing. It made me feel lazy mostly and dragged heading out because we have to queue and scan to enter building/shopping malls/shops which is such a trouble to do. I don’t feel productive just because I have all the time at home. I probably feel more worn out than before despite that my body didn’t get to move much. It’s quite a joke because I wasn’t expecting this. But this time I hope I can push myself better to make changes (no matter how small) and not slack anymore up to the end of this year. I want to write here more. I want to get my brain thinking better again. And I hope the rest that I’m getting still works, although mr stomach hasn’t been cooperating lately. I wonder what does he want.

RazDaz | Hi September

I finally had a break since start of September, but I was unusually tired this time right after lunch. I had to take a nap which last about 2 hours or so and there goes my entire afternoon without accomplishing anything. 🙄 I guess I must be too worn out from the months of training that I finally get to feel relieved and relax that my body responded this way. I feel so much better after naps that made me feel refreshed. So from this week onwards, I’ll just have to be waiting for further news while I gave myself some revision in my own time. And also to clear those outstanding articles that I want to read. I’ve been feeling so detached from the world as I don’t have to go out as often as before. And because of the pandemic, it’s still a better choice to stay home as much as we can. Hopefully somehow my body has adjusted to this kind of new lifestyle and not giving me those bloating issues as often again (although I’m still experiencing it now).

I’ve watched Legally Declared Dead movie in the cinema on a weekday. It was about an insurance agent suspecting that the client is falsely making a claim for the death of their child. But this male lead is getting on my nerves tbh. Because he made the wrong assumption in thinking it was the intellectually disabled man who did it. He’s being quite dumb in all his actions especially when fighting against the real murderer and not brave enough to protect his girlfriend. In fact I could guess the murderer way before him as obviously it’s the man’s half-blind wife who looks suspicious. It’s not difficult to guess it right when the male lead’s girlfriend could make inference based on the two person’s drawings as a kid. The best part of this film is the thrill it gives when the murderer starts to attack the main lead and captured his girlfriend. There are a lot of victims here and it brings pain to watch them suffer. The man even lost his hands as his wife did it on purpose to claim it under ‘workplace injuries’. I think he’s the most pitiful of all as he did not know how to protect himself and could not reject his wife’s requests. The movie ends with the main lead pushing the man away while he was walking with a crippled leg. I think that’s bad of him to do so because it wasn’t exactly the man’s fault in the first place (as he was manipulated as a kid). I could only guess that it must be due to his girlfriend who probably left him and he’s now out of job so he could only vent his frustration on that poor man. That’s why I say this male lead is annoying. On the whole it’s thrilling yet violent to watch. Pretty ordinary to fill in time with this movie. → My rating: 6/10

Sum up: August

It has been quite a rough week. All I was hoping for and looking forward to the most is for the project to be over. Even though the deadline was pushed to the last day of August, time is still not on our side and we were struggling over the weekend to fulfill the requirements. We’re all simply not ready for such a difficult task because of the poor teaching that we received. It’s really ridiculous to expect everyone to pass with just 2 weeks of training which is especially difficult for those where the topic is new to us. Basically nothing much has changed except for a short extension of the deadlines to exam and project. At this point I can’t complain much anymore because we’re at the end of training and somehow I passed most of them. I just feel doomed for the month of September as I will be facing new challenges. The whole of August is all the highs and lows. I’m not ready for what’s coming next but I guess I can only hope for the best. 🙏

I simply can’t recall what I did significantly for the month. I think I missed out the time for doing workouts because I was simply too tired that I would fall asleep in the afternoon than having the energy to sweat. The journey to my workplace is so far (an hour plus of commute) that it always tires me out. I think I’ve went to the office like once a week which is the highest frequency so far. 😂 The best feeling I had is to take the taxi for only that one day to office because it was raining quite heavily in the morning. I like that the traveling time is 30mins instead, but the fare was about 4 times the usual if I were to take bus and train. It’s a pain to waste so much money on transport just to save time. All I wanna hope (again) is that I won’t have to travel to office anymore after this. Just let me continue Work From Home like how everyone and most of us should be doing. Thank you.

Addicted to: KARD – Gunshot

Mood: 😫

Quote: When you’re feeling tired, keep going. That’s the only way to to truly get stronger.

RazDaz | let’s move on..

This week I’ve been struggling a lot on a learning a new topic and of course with time constraint it’s totally impossible for us to finish the whole course. We just have to take the exam on Friday no matter what and let this be over. I’m glad that I have good guessing skills despite that I don’t even know what I’m choosing and typing (basically I’m just following the pattern from sample model answers) as I think I should be able to pass this somehow. It’s also kinda ridiculous that more clues are given to us because obviously, this means the trainer just wanna make us pass and get done with the exam as quickly as he can lol. Well, what done is done for such an arrangement by them and I can’t complain anymore. Although I’m feeling uncomfortable at the fact that the courses aren’t completed and I definitely can’t get them done over the weekend (I need weeks not days), I’m glad I get to rest this weekend while worrying about the next project later (as usual I have no idea how’s it gonna be like until we got informed at the last min).

I’ve watched The Hunt movie in the cinema and I think it was kinda good? Every moment is exciting and intense, but I think it would be better if they would ‘explained’ what happened in the beginning rather than doing the flashback where what they talked in a group chat was a joke instead. But I think for the group of them to make things became real and hunt down the people who ‘made their lives miserable’ seems a little far fetched. How does that make your life any better by making it real? But rather it shows that you people did have the intention after all, which is a disappointing thing even if you guys were being mistaken. Or rather I should say, some things aren’t meant to be a joke in the first place.

It’s sad that instead of taking this as a lesson and admit they are partly at fault, they hunt down the eleven of them and aim to kill all of them in a brutal way. It’s pretty gore here and there are a lot of gunshots in the movie which actually affected me in my sleep 😂 What’s a ridicule is that they captured the wrong Crystal of the same town and in the end she’s the only survivor from all this mess. I feel sad for her for what she has been through based on the story of “the Jackrabbit and the Box Turtle” that she talked about. But I can feel that she is a strong and smart woman right at the beginning so no doubt she won everything in this. But lives shouldn’t be lost due to this. On the whole, I feel the elites got themselves to be blamed. And also make better sense of their lives rather than for a moment of fury? Life is more than holding on to a matter so strongly that you go hurt others and yourselves. This storyline makes me doubt humanity again 😅 Then again, I’m not saying those captives are totally innocent, they should be responsible for what they say online if they didn’t know the whole truth. So, why can’t the elites use law to sue them? Why bother the trouble to make the joke come true? Sometimes I don’t understand what some people are thinking really. –> My Rating: 6/10

RazDaz | gloomy month

It’s been gloomy with the rain on and off the week. I’m actually getting sick of having to deal with the trainer’s ridiculous plans and how bad he is at teaching. Seriously? (that’s what he likes to say to us when he gets dissatisfied with us, but I’m rebutting this back now) I don’t get why the rush to push us to finish this last course of training which happened to be the most difficult topic in just a week plus. To put this more accurately, we’re learning 4 modules in this span of time and we have to take the exam by this week. It’s ridiculous!! (I can’t helped but to use this word again and again) It’s ridiculous how they don’t care about teaching properly and their online materials aren’t that helpful. I even got tired of asking question because the trainer is just as bad in solving our problems and this one isn’t nice to you when you ask because he will sound in a way that makes you feel stupid. So in the end it’s all up to us. 😔

Right now I feel I’m only in a battle with myself. It’s an exhausting one because working from home just makes the ‘working hours’ even longer than usual and if there’s any problems needless to say you gotta work it out on your own. I don’t enjoy such a training session having to write notes till my hand hurts while drowning in the level of difficulty that I have to face. Time is always a factor. If anyone can just learn something difficult in less a month he would have been a genius. And if I am, I wouldn’t have to work for a company I’ll rather create my own apps and stuff. Oh bother, how I wished I can make them have such a common sense and not let myself struggle so hard for ….. nothing perhaps? 🙄 I’m not even sure how can I be ready for the real work that’s gonna come next month. Let’s see if I’ll cry or I’ll get to relax. haha.

Alright on to something nice. I’ve watched the movie Greenland with my partner and it was good! There’s nothing much to the storyline since it’s just about fragments of comet that hit the Earth which made everyone run for their lives and attempted to escape to Greenland. What is great is the sound effects from the speakers which seemed so real. And how the family struggles to stay together after facing obstacles of being separated because of some mean people. It’s scary when disasters befall because we can see how ugly humans are when they sought desperately to survive by stealing and harming others. I hate to see such a scene of how humanity would just disappear when things happened. It’s not just selfish, it’s more than that. Everytime when I watched such a show, it just reminds me of how much I hate humans. lol. Really, it’s people who either don’t think at all or they take advantage of others when they’re at their lowest. I really hope there’s peace till forever because it’s hard to believe if humanity can pass the test.

Struggling to say all this because I’m a human too. How can I be proud of that. 😂